This country's obsession with results, materialistic possessions, looks and rankings is getting to me. I'm getting affected by it and it upsets me. I was getting better in London. I was happier, more carefree. Perhaps in the eyes of the hardcore ones, I couldn't take the pressure of standards or I couldn't reach them - hence my aversion to them. There are things tt I've gotten and am and things tt i've missed out on or will never be. But tts life isn't it. What's meant to be will be. Obviously I don't mean to sit on your chair stupidly waiting for something to fall onto your lap. But I've given my all and I have no regrets. I'm happy with who I am and what I have. But the fact tt here can produce some of e most brilliant and yet constricted and narrowest minds I know scares me. In this meritocratic society obsessed with achievements, it scares me how big of a role they can play in future society. This kinda society I have no interest in. I'd gladly be somewhere else, maybe earning less or living differently, but happy and pursuing my dreams. No dream is too insignificant. And no one has e right to scoff at anyone's dreams.